Photo by Randy Jacob on Unsplash

Remember when we were younger, and writing in our Livejournals (quick aside, don't go to Livejournal to reminisce (just trust me)), and as we started to tire of sharing with the world, we would begin each blog with, It's been a while or something just as derivative? Well hello, diary. It has been a while.

In the past two years since I've written, let's see what's happened ... I got a new job and then they decided to reduce the workforce (this is actually recent). But also, I got a kitten, lost a kitten, got two cats, and then got three more kittens. And another dog. I also started using the standing desk again.

And let's not get into how many mechanical keyboards I've picked up since then, either.

A very close friend of mine passed away about two weeks ago, unexpectedly. I haven't been sulking around as much as I'd expected but I'm not all puppy dog tails.

Our new dog Dusty is a barker and a shedder. But really only the shedder part is important.

The loss of a friend makes me realize that I need to reach out to friends and family more often. You never know when your breath will be your last, and all of the things you want to tell them or do with them will go unsaid or undone.

After I took Dusty for a drive and a walk, I got back into my car — oh, I got a new car, too — to go get something to eat. I opened the windows and the wind blew all her hair around the car, prompting me to tell Dusty via the empty car, Your hair is everywhere! Because the wind just blew it all around. And then I remembered how much my friend loved Dashboard Confessional.

It's hard when you lose things. Especially when the loss is permanent. I really liked my job. I enjoyed working with Regex and I enjoyed getting to update a C# application to, say, fix a bug or implement a new feature. My language of choice is TypeScript, because while TypeScript is just JavaScript with a much-needed layer of types, it's still sort of a I-Can-Do-Anything-If-I-Bend-The-Right-Rules language. It's a more structured version of the thing that powers the user experience of the Internet.

When React was first released, I was still working with Angular, trying to grasp TypeScript. Vue was easier to pick up so I went with that. I lucked into a job that used Vue and I really came into my own on Vue. In my opinion, it was just better. The learning curve was not steep, and the framework itself very powerful. But as much as I love an underdog, it has become clear that React is also what powers the Internet, so I have to brush up on it very quickly if I am to stay viable in this market.

The last time I saw Nicole was nearly a decade ago. She was the one who talked some sense into me about a girl I was seeing. And for the longest time I wanted my wife to meet her. Now that won't happen.

It would be cool if I included more pictures in my writing. But sometimes it's just too much work.

I brought Pawlie home because my wife really wanted a black kitten. His full name was Sir Pawl McCatney, but I always just called him Pawlie. Or Pawlie Nonuts (he was neutered). I told my wife, I'm going to PetSmart to get a kitten, and to her surprise came home with one. Pawlie quickly became best friends with our dog. And then just as quickly, he was gone. All of a sudden multiple seizures and an attempt to save him but the difficult decision to stop. That loss really messed us up for months. That Christmas was tough because before his death in October, my wife found a cute little pewter black cat and put it in my Christmas stocking. I still miss him. He was barely 8 weeks old when we got him. He learned how to be a cat from a dog. He was always the bravest.

We replaced Pawlie two years later — and I know, you can't and you don't replace pets, but I don't know what else to call it because I'm very neurodivergent — with Billy the Kid. He was young and lovely and my wife approved of the adoption, so I adopted him. But not his brothers. That would be too many cats, I said. And then the following week I went back with the intention of adopting one of his brothers (long story (ok, fine I'll tell you, but it's just going to remain a super-long parenthetical (I love parentheticals and I also love abusing them). So, in between Pawlie and Billy there were two more cats which we took in, and they didn't seem to get along with the newcomer. So I thought to go back to PetSmart for some Feliway in the hopes it'll calm everyone down and they could just get along. While there I saw one of Billy's litter mates, an orange tabby who used to be paired up with a gray kitten, all alone. It ate me up inside that someone would take the gray one and just leave the poor orange one all alone! So I told my wife that I'm going back the next day to get that one; and I reminded her that evening. And after work the next day, I said, I'm going to get that kitten now; this is your last chance to stop me. And she said, "I know it is!" and that was that. I had to go adopt another kitten. Except as I walked in, a gentleman was walking out with a carrier that happened to contain that other kitten. Luckily, there was another black kitten up for adoption, who had just arrived that afternoon. Unfortunately, she came with a sister)) and wound up adopting two sisters whom we named Luna and Notte.

Within two weeks Luna got very sick. After our last tragic loss, I exclaimed, Not this time! and made sure this one survived. It cost a lot, but thanks to the wonderful people at the Veterinary Emergency Group, Luna survived.

We don't leave the house much lately. Too many pets. And apparently we collect them like Pokémon. But it's a form of love.

Love always finds us and leaves us, but as long as we define our lives by the findings and not the losses, we can one day sit back and reflect on a life well lived.